Hugely Important Update To The Adult Playing PeeWee Football Story: He Only Got One Carry And Was Tackled For A Loss
Update:
Let me clear my throat for a second so I can LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Bro. Bro. Bro-bro. You’re not a day under 30, got one carry and were tackled for a three yard loss by a bunch of 13 year olds, and then they stuck your bum ass on the O-line like you were the fat dork whose mom was trying to make him break out of his shell? That’s one of the funniest goddamn things I’ve heard in my entire life. So funny, in fact, that I completely take back everything I said yesterday. Yesterday I said that while I would’ve done the same thing, I totally understand the firing of the coach and expelling of the Buccaneers. Now I think the exact opposite. Make this fucking loser play every single game for the rest of the season. Remember when kids would get caught drinking and their parents would make them sit at the kitchen table and just get fucking shitfaced so they learned their lesson*? Do that with this dork. You want to be a big tough guy and play football versus little kids? Alright. Better strap up tight, big man, because you’ve got a crew of maniacs in the throws of puberty, with hormones going haywire, coming for those ACLs in the backfield. We’ll see how big and bad you are when you’re crying to get put on the o-line, you old bitch.
* I’m pretty sure that drinking thing only happens in movies. I had a lot of friends get caught drinking, no one’s dad sat them down with a 30 and said, “get alcohol poisoning right now. Right in front of me. You want to drink? Let’s drink until you die.”
h/t Justin